| Səhifələr: Əvvəlki 1 2 [3] 4 5 Sonraki |
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_kasper_
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#1
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Posts: 2309
09. Iyu 2006. 07:48:07
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O bosancima..
nek izvinu Bosanci ovo je samo humor 
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XiPe
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#30
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Posts: 15517
18. Dek 2006. 17:26:40
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- Mujo imam za tebe dvije vesti. Dobra i losa.
- Kazi bolan Haso prvo losu!
- Sin ti se hefta u guzicu!
- A sad dobru.
- Sin ti se dobro hefta u guzicu!
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XiPe
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#31
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Posts: 15517
18. Dek 2006. 17:27:29
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Resavaju Mujo i Haso ukrstene reci:
Mujo -- Zenski polni organ?
Haso -- Jel uspravno ili vodoravno?
Mujo -- Vodoravno!?
Haso -- Pisi USTA!!!
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XiPe
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#32
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Posts: 15517
18. Dek 2006. 17:28:57
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Gledao Mujo jedan dan pornic i vide kako frajer li*e
ribi. Napali se i trkom kuci. Kad je stigao kaze Fati:
Fato skidaj se mora da te lizem.
Nemoj Mujo imam menstruaciju.
Ma nema veze samo se ti skidaj.
I skine se Fata a Mujo poce da radi. Posle izvesnog vremena,
Mujo se sav uneo u posao, neko zvoni na vrata. Ode Mujo da
otvori sav krvav po licu, a na vratima Haso. I pita Haso Muju:
Bolan Mujo sta ti je sto si sav krvav po licu?
Tu se Mujo zbuni pa mu odgovori:
Ma pala mi vrata pa mi razbila lice.
Na to ce Haso:
A jel od WC-a?
A otkud si znao - pita Mujo.
Pa vidim ti govno na bradi pa predpostavih.
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XiPe
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#33
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Posts: 15517
18. Dek 2006. 17:31:32
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Zadesili se Mujo i Haso na aerodromu pa ce Mujo:
- Je li bolan Haso, kako bre ovi mogu da otimaju avijone kad
su ovako ogromni?
- Pa ne otimaju oni njih dok su ovde na zemlji veliki budalo,
vec kad su gore na nebu malecki
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FireFox31
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#34
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Posts: 133
21. Dek 2006. 12:52:05
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,,,
Vraæaju se Mujo i Haso iz Nemaèke kuæi. I kada su bili blizu sela, uzme Mujo dvogled da vidi šta im rade žene. Kad tamo kod Mujine Fate neki muškarci sa šlemovima u kuæi. Pa kaže on Hasi:
• Bog te jeb’o, Haso, vidi ti jesul’ ono evropski posmatraèi?!
Uzeo Haso pa gleda:
• Ma kakvi posmatraèi bolan, mi smo posmatraèi, ono su jebaèi!
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FireFox31
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#35
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Posts: 133
21. Dek 2006. 15:17:14
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,,,
Upravnik zadruge velika vlast u selu osilio se i niko mu nista ne moze. Cesta mu je uzrecica da je jebem ili da ga jebem. Posao upravnik malo u setnju pa sretne Mujinoga sina Edina:
- "Gdje ti je babao da ga jebem?"
- "Otisao u selo druze upravnice."
- "A mater ti ostala kuci da je jebem?"
- "Kuci je!"
- "A gdje si ti poso mali da te jebem?"
- "Po ovce druze upravnice."
- "A koliko ih imas?"
- "Oko stotinu da ih jebes druze upravnice."
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FireFox31
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#36
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Posts: 133
18. Yan 2007. 08:58:30
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,,,
Mujo postao posrednik u javnoj kuæi i doveo svoju Fatu u Sarajevo na `posao`, te reèe:
- Slušaj Fato, cena je 100 DM, ni marke manje!
- Dobro, bolan Mujo, i ode Fata.
Uto naidje jedan crnja i poèe ugovarati posao:
- Imam samo 70 DM kaže.
- Ne može bolan, ne da Mujo ispod 100 DM.
Na to crnja izvadi kurèinu od 32 cm. Fata iskolaèi oèi , te poèe vikati:
- Mujo, de bolan pozajmi coveku 30 DM!
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FireFox31
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#37
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Posts: 133
26. Yan 2007. 10:19:06
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,,,
Uhapsili Hasu zbog silovanja i odveli ga kadiji.
Pita kadija, sta je uradio.
- "Silovanje gospodine", odgovori policajac iz pratnje.
- "Mustafa, okrivljenom uradi sve sto je on radio toj jadnoj zeni."
Haso ce ti na to:
- "Pa gospon kadija nemoj te molim vas. Pa nisam ja to htjeo. Pa nije namjerno. Molim vas postedite me."
- "Mustafa vodi ga. Sljedeci ! Sta je ovaj uradio?"
- "Kraða, gospon kadija."
- "Mustafa ! Odsjeci mu ruku. Sljedeci! Sta je ovaj uradio?"
- "Ubistvo gospodine."
- "Mustafa ! Otkini mu glavu. Vodi ih sve trojicu i za danas je dosta."
Vodi njih Mustafa hodnikom, kad ce ti Haso njemu.
- "Mustafa, Muki... Mene samo jebes, nemoj zaboravit."
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FireFox31
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#38
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Posts: 133
28. Fev 2007. 12:27:27
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,,,
Šetali Mujo i mali Haso Ferhadijom, kad ugledaše dva psa kako se jebu.
- "Tata, tata šta rade ova dva psa?"
- "Eh, vidiš sine, onom gore je jako loše, pa ga ovaj ispod nosi kuæi", objašnjava Mujo.
- "Uh, jebem ti život, èim nekom pomažeš on ti ga zabije u guzicu."
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FireFox31
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#39
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Posts: 133
23. Mar 2007. 12:12:42
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,,,
Mujo pita Hasu:
- Bolan Haso, šta to radiš?
- Kafenišem!
- A šta ti je to, bolan?
- Pa pijem kahvu.
Sutradan doðe Haso kod Muje.
- Šta radiš, bolan?
- Onanišem!
- A šta ti je to sad?
- Pa bolan, pijem èaj od nane!
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FireFox31
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#40
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Posts: 133
09. May 2007. 16:48:05
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,,,
Salje Mujo pismo Deda Mrazu:
- "Dragi Deda Mraze ja sam bio dobar decko, cijelu godinu, pa želimm da za Božiæ dobijem seku."
A na to njemu Deda Mraz:
- "Vrlo rado æu ti ispuniti želju, ali prvo ti meni pošalji mamu
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FireFox31
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#41
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Posts: 133
09. May 2007. 16:50:10
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,,,
Otišao Mujo u zoološki vrt. Kada je došao do kaveza s majmunima, obrati se jednom majmunu koji je držao dve banane u rukama:
Hoæeš li mi dati jednu bananu?
A majmun æe:
Daæu ti obe ako mi kažeš kako si ti izašao iz kaveza
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FireFox31
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#42
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Posts: 133
27. Sen 2007. 12:28:08
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,,,
Donio Mujo Fati vibrator, pa ga ona proba u ruci 1...2...3... i ispadne joj i sve skakuce po plocicama, a Mujo ce: Drz’ ga, Fato, sve ce da nas pojebati
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ana9
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#43
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Posts: 3879
22. Okt 2007. 17:51:16
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You Know You’re Bosnian When
you drive VW Golf 2
your family owns a manual coffee grinder
you take your shoes off when you enter the house, and every family member has his/her own slippers (plus some extra for the guests)
your neighbour comes over every day uninvited, for coffee
your father wears striped pajamas
you drive VW Golf 2
you start your day with a cup of coffee and a cigarette
you have 17 consonants and 2 vowels in your last name
your mother won’t accept the fact that you’re not hungry
you drive VW Golf 2
you have "pita" for dinner at least 4 days a week
you have "sarma" for dinner the remaining 3 days
a loaf of bread is eaten for lunch every day
you’re 6 and your father sends you out to buy him "Sarajevsko"
you don’t speak to your cousins who support "Sarajevo"
when your mother insists you eat something with "kasika" at least once a week
you chop up some onions and then decide what to cook for dinner
your mother insists that "promaja" will kill you
you drive VW Golf 2
your mother tells you not to sit on the concrete slabs, or your ovaries are going to freeze
your mother tells you to wear "potkosulja", no matter what the temperature outside
your mother tells you not to sit close to TV, and not to use cell phones, because you’ll get brain tumor
you drive VW Golf 2
your mother tells you that you’ll get sick from drinking cold water
you tuck in your "potkosulja" into your underwear
your parents wonder why you shower every day
your parents tell you that they had you, AND your sister/brother when they were your age
a couple of days really means a week or so
your parents have "goblene" on their walls, and "heklanje" on every piece of their furniture, including the TV
your parents make "zimnica" every september
your mother threathens you with "samo cekaj dok ti se otac ne vrati kuci"
you spend all your family vacations in Neum
you drive there in your family VW Golf 2
you take a car to go everywhere
you begin most sentences with "j. ga", "svega mi", or "Tita mi"
your young cousin doesn’t know what "Tita mi" means
you can’t explain what "bolan" means, but you use it all the time
you’re the only one who gets all the Mujo and Haso jokes
you know the entire script of "Walter brani Sarajevo" by heart
you know the script of every single episode of "Top Lista Nadrealista"
you despise your cousin who’s going out with an "unproforac"
you drive VW Golf 2
your mother bakes a cake without oil, sugar, eggs, or flour, and she calls it "a war cake"
the time is divided into "before" and "after" the war
your father refers to all politicians with "djubrad", "lopovi", "kriminalci"...
you have at least one best friend from high school who went to "their side" and you still can’t explain it to yourself, your remaining friends from high school live in Australia, Norway, Germany, and Malaysia
you don’t want to talk about the war to anyone, but that’s the only thing you talk about with other Bosnians
you have at least three passports, and have lived in at least 4 countries in the last 12 years
you vote for the same politicians over and over again, but when somebody ask for your opinion about them, you say "Lažljiva lopovska gamad!"
you hear "Pamet u glavu" everytime you go out of the house!
you drive VW Golf 2
you have to walk to school, which is located 14 miles away from your village
Your family owns enough guns to start a war.
you put rakija on your feet every time you are sick
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 ...od Vardara moja raja, do Triglava nema kraja...
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