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10Sanja20
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#1
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Posts: 1280
08. Jun 2006. 10:41:24
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Crnogorci.....
Tri dokaza da je Isus Hrist bio Crnogorac:
1. U svojoj 33. godini ziveo je sa majkom.
2. U svojoj 33. godini verovao je da je samo njegova majka devica.
3. Ona je verovala da je njen sin bog.
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10Sanja20
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#16
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Posts: 1280
22. Jun 2006. 15:29:44
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kako crnogorci sada voze kola?
...prva....druga...granica... 
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blackjack01
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#17
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Posts: 13
25. Jun 2006. 01:11:38
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bunar
Upala dva moja sirota roðaka u bunar,zakaèili se noktima za kamenje i pita jedan drugog:"Milutine brate,šta da èinimo!?","’ajde Milisave mak’ se ða’ole,vazda bi nešto èinio!!!!!!!" 
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blackjack01
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#18
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Posts: 13
25. Jun 2006. 01:18:49
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istina živa
Dva mi burazera "presisali" šljive,sjeli s društvom u fiæu i pravac Berane.Na raskrsnici kod autobuske ulete s cijelih 40 na sat i pokupe nekog sirotana na haubu,preko krova i naravno patos.Ukoèe,zateturaju onako pijani do nesretnika(iskerebeèenog k’o Pikasova umetnost) i vrisnu:"Ubi li se èo’èe!!!!!!?????","Ne,no me vi ubiste oca vi ###em zavazda!!!!!!!!!"(preživio s lakšim kontuzijama) 
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blackjack01
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#19
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Posts: 13
25. Jun 2006. 01:20:37
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kako je Crnogorac postao lijen?
Došao Bosanac i rekao:"Sjedi buraz da ti objasnim!"
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_kasper_
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#20
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Posts: 2309
26. Jun 2006. 03:39:10
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sexmachine
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#21
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Posts: 14
17. Jul 2006. 01:23:15
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Crnogorska aplikacija za posao
EMPLOYMENT APPLICATION
FOR MONTENEGRIN GOVERNMENT POSITIONS
NAME:
____________________________________ Title First Last Home Address in Crna Gora (Montenegro): _______________________________
Military Rank Achieved ( CHECK ONE)
Admiral ___General ___ Colonel ___ Major ____ Grandfather’s Title: Baron ____ Duke _____
Earl _____ Prince _____ Vladika ______
Relationship to Tsar Nikola I (Check One)
Cousin
Brat od Strica ___ Brat od Tetke____ Brat od Ujak___
Relative Neighbor
Roðak ____ Dalji Roðak___ Komšija _______ Address of Property Owned in Belgrade
_________________________________
Pictures of Njegosh Owned
Number: _____
Dimensions: ________ Address of 2nd Property in Belgrade
_________________________________
Job Information Section ---
Please Check Appropriate Space for Each Category
Position Applied For: ____Minister ____ Director _____ Manager _____V- President ____ Other ____
Desired Department – Resting ___ Hat Care ____ Medals and Military Decorations ______
Poetry ___ Public Holiday Planning ___ Black Market Control _____
Speech Making ____ Njegosh Preservation _____ Napping _____
Hours Available ( Per Week ) 30 ____ 20 _____ 10 _____ Less Than 10 _____
VACATION Requirements ( Per Year ) More Than 10 Weeks ____ Less Than 10 Weeks____
Personal Information Section ---
Please Check Appropriate Space for Each Category
Education : PhD ____ MASTERS ____ OTHER _________ (explain)
Work Experience : Some ____ None ____ Former Yugoslav Government Employee _____
Which sentence best describes your work philosophy?
1) I have worked some, but don’t really care for it ______
2) I have never worked but am willing to learn, within reason______
3) I have my own cigarette smuggling business, as long as this position doesn’t interfere with it, I’m OK ________
4) I have been working my entire life and enjoy the fulfillment of a “job well done”; I am up to any task assigned ( For Applicants of Mixed Marriage ) __________
5) It’s for Women Only _______
Please Rate your Application Experience - from 5 to 1 Circle the appropriate response
5 - Great – I was able to get a nap between sections.
4 - Excellent – I received a medal for completing form in less than one hour
3 - Good – I was able to take coffee breaks between sections
2 - Poor – To many questions, I got a headache
1 - Terrible – We didn’t have to do this crap under Tito, just needed a lièna karta (ID)
Sign and Date Here
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_kasper_
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#22
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Posts: 2309
28. Jul 2006. 08:01:21
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što je isus rekao crnogorcima na odlasku?
"ne èinite ništa dok se ne vratim..."
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Mico74
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#23
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Posts: 1
15. Ago 2006. 23:13:29
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Koliko ima viceva o crnogorcima?
Nema ni jedan, sve je istina ...
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CHARM
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#24
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Posts: 1166
30. Ago 2006. 01:23:28
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...
Dosao Crnogorac na Trg Bana Jelacica i ugledao kip.
Pita on: "Ko je ono?"
Kazu mu: "Ban Jelacic"
Crnogorac: "Dobro, a koji ga ono junak jase?"
Pijani Mujo u tramvaju: " Gospodjo, nisam vidio u zivotu ruzniju zenu od vas". Gospodja: " Ni ja nisam vidjela pijaniju svinju od vas". Mujo: " To je istina gospodjo, ali to ce mene drzati samo do ujutro".
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Enjoyment is not a goal, it is a feeling that accompanies important ongoing
activity.
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electric_mojo
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#25
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Posts: 192
27. Out 2006. 12:12:18
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...
Krenuo Crnogorac nekim poslom peske u Podgoricu, pa kad pripekla zvezda resi da se pored Morace malo u hladu odmori. Samo sto se smestio, primeti devojku sa druge strane reke, koja ga od nekog zbuna ne videvsi, resi da bas prekoputa njega reku pregazi. Kako se voda dizala uz noge, ona je suknju sve vise podizala, i bas na pola reke, kad joj je suknja bila do bokova podignuta, primeti djetica, kako se na rukama izdize sav izbecen. Ipak resi da predje reku, i ignorisuci ga stade na par metara od njega, tresuci suknju nebi li noge sto pre osusila.
Crnogorac, koji je u medjuvremenu ponovo legao podmetnuvsi ruke pod glavu rece:
"Ama djevojko, izgleda da se bas napila vode, a?"
A na to ce ova, i dalje ga ne gledajuci:
" Pio bi i ti, da si sinoc pojeo mesa ka ona."
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FireFox31
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#26
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Posts: 133
06. Fev 2007. 15:16:34
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,,,
Što je lijenije od Crnogorca?
=> Kurac.
A zašto?
=> Kad ne radi, moraš ga nositi, a i kad radi, moraš ga gurati.
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blackjack01
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#27
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Posts: 13
09. Abr 2007. 00:28:26
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,
Lego Crnogorac na livadu da odahne i naravno zaspe.Vide ga èobanèad i kakvu zvrèku da mu smjeste,stave mu na stomak ovèija crijeva pa se sakriju.Probudi se baja i kad vidi prenerazi se,kad èuješ klince:"Èiko,èiko boli li te!?","Boli ðeeco boli no junak trpi!!!"
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vlakis
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#28
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Posts: 1
10. Abr 2007. 09:05:22
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***
Usao crnogorac u kafanu sav potisten.Vidi ga komsija i pita:
"sto ti je coce sto si mi potisten?"
"crkla mi ves masina."
"od cega crkla jadan?"
"od kamenca."
"cuj od kamenca da crkne.kako?"
"pa sisla milijana na moracu juce da opere neke kosulje i taman se sagla nad vodu odvali se jedna stijena i pravo pade na nju."
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albandy2
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#29
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Posts: 5214
21. Ago 2007. 23:31:40
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obraz i cast
Idu crnogorac i njegova zena kroz sumu i nalete na bandu.E vala sad cemo se lepo sexat a posto ima i homoseksualaca moraces i Ti da se potrudis i prolazite ladno ili odu glave.Na to ce zena potezi jado tu kuburu sta cekas.Cuti Ti rece on kubura se poteze za cast i obraz a,ne za guzicu.
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Èudno je kako je malo potrebno da budemo sreæni, i još èudnije: kako èesto nam baš to malo nedostaje Ivo Andriæ
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